Life as we know it.

Ok so many things go wrong in life and we all know it. I have tried for many years to make it all worth while. Though sometimes it is impossible. I have been attending school for almost two years and still feel as though I am not going anywhere in my life.

I am not having a pitty party for myself I just need to vent sometimes.

There is a lot in my life that I find to be wrong, I have tried to change them but when you are so use to what is going on around you, you find it to be impossible to make things right again. I have been in my relationship for 4 almost 5 years and I am terrified for it to be lost. I am scared to change it because I think it will change me.

I have a biological mother that abandoned me at the age of 2. She left my father for another woman. I found this to be a very brave and bold step. I have had a lot of respect for my mother and said she would come back for me and it would be soon. I am now 27 almost 28 and she just came back two years ago. She felt she could run my life and tell me who o be with and who not to be with.

I pushed her away, but now as time goes on I am mad at myself for that. I want her in my life even if that means she will act like a mom. I really need her to be my best friend rather than a mom, but, as a mother myself now I find that I am more of a mother than I am a friend.

I guess it is just that instinct that all mothers have, some just more than the rest. I never thought that things would go like they have but, I guess that is just life as we know it.